About

    As a twenty-something year old with no social life, an unstable career, and a useless degree who still lives at home with her parents, life can be incredibly humbling. A lot of times, I feel like a failure, a useless lout who leeches off her aging parents, and an idiot who never knows any better. I feel lost. I feel like I’ve been stuck in the same place, mentally and physically, for so long. I’m scared that I’m wasting my life and I’m ashamed that so many of my peers and childhood friends seem to have things figured out and have long since surpassed me. 

    I feel my twenties slipping away, eaten up by anxiety over the future, a crippling fear of being alone, and a deadening lack of passion. 

    I struggle with severe depression and anxiety. Every day, it’s a challenge to get up and out of bed. I’m terrible self-conscious and have an abysmal sense of self-confidence. After years of medication and therapy, I’m only just realizing that I have never tried to put in the work to live the life I want. I relied on medication and therapy to solve my problems instead of using them to supplement my efforts. I need to do the work to build the life I want. I’m tired of letting depression get in the way. I’m tired of putting off my dreams and goals. I’m tired of watching life pass me by. I’m going to push myself like I never have before and achieve all I’ve ever dreamed off.

    

    Meditations in Autonomy is a personal blog dedicated to facing my fears and chasing my dreams while I manage my depression and anxiety. This blog is an attempt to move forward. It is my accountability partner. It is a record of the accomplishments that I will complete. It is evidence of the change I’m trying to implement in my life. It is my hope, my dream, and my future. 

    I hope this message helps a stranger in need. I hope that somewhere out there, in the void that is the internet, I inspire someone to chase their dreams. I understand how it feels to struggle with depression and anxiety. Mental heath can be an obstacle to success. However, where there is life, there is hope. I am going to transform my life. I hope that some stranger out there gets the courage to do the same.